At bedtime, after reading the chapter, "The Won't-Go-to-Bedders Cure." Stefan said, "What would Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle do for me, since I can't get to sleep at night?" "Well," I said, "First, I have to call all the other parents, and ask them what they do. 'Ring, ring. Hello? Mrs. McGallicutty? Do you have a problem getting Drake, Carlotta or Bruchetta to go close their eyes at night and go to sleep?'
And Mrs. McGallicutty, says, 'Oh no, as soon as the children's heads hit their pillows they fall asleep, sometimes BEFORE their heads even touch the pillow. Why?' 'Well,' I tell her, 'Stefan has such a hard time closing his eyes at night.' Mrs. McGallicutty says, 'Have you spoken with Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle?'
And Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle says, "Have Stefan ride over on his bike to pick up the Can't-Go-to-Sleepers kit." But the kit is so huge you can't ride with it on your bike. In fact, you have to pay a big African man to carry the kit back to the house on his head.
The kit consists of lights that we have GSO install in your room. Lights so bright, so colorful and twinkly that when you lay on your bed, you HAVE to close your eyes AND wear the sleep mask from Air France over your eyes.
And after three nights, you beg to have the lights removed. You say, "Can't I just count sheep?" And I say, "Maybe, if you are good, you can just have the overhead light, and the hall light and the little bedside lamp."
"The big bright lights are a good idea though." says the Won't-go-to-Sleeper, who has to find just the right stuffed animal to sleep with, and have a glass of ice water and have the mosquito net adjusted before he finally gives up.
