My question for everyone is, "What are you doing?" Because I so want this answered by all my friends, I will answer it myself.
In a way, I'm wondering if I've already died of corona virus and gone to heaven. I am well, my family is healthy, I'm working remotely with my awesome colleagues in Muscat from the coast of California.
But please do let me complain about my life during Authorized Departure as I go hiking in Big Sur.
But while I am really enjoying this Viking stove, and the luxury of having a puppy, and walking two blocks to Ludmilla's house, I feel nothing but anxiety about the future. How can my kids go back to student housing/dorms? California state universities are going to be online fall semester. Camille doesn't even want to go back. But there are no jobs! This is the perfect time to go to school, except what's the point of doing school online? Why am I living so far from my family?
I miss Peter. How can I even begin? I love our life together in Muscat. Driving to work, seeing him in his "coffee lab," deciding if we are making dinner or getting gas station shwarma, taking care of Bea together. No one is more fun to live life with than Peter.
But, should I move back to the U.S. and live somewhere where kids can sit out the virus and finish school? Will future us say, gee that was a dumb time to go to school, or gee, that was brilliant, going to school then. Being a half a world away from college-age kids, is hard enough. Having the world be turned upside-down makes it even harder.
My thought for today is to try not not treat this time--waffles with blueberries and huckleberry syrup, goldfinches in the water fountain in the garden, the crows patrolling the street, the walk to Asimolar Beach in perfect weather with one of my best friends--as a burden. Or to be afraid. Win in your dreams, says Atsya.